Inspiration

I was so excited to begin writing and working on my blog when I first started. Now, I have sort of lost that spark. I no longer know what I’m trying to say. What is the purpose of this blog? I wonder if I am supposed to be sharing my day to day experiences or my opinions about and insight into significant issues. More importantly, I have to question who cares. My blog may never be found; may never really be discovered. I am to remain the undiscovered socialite. If I was discovered, I don’t know what kind of socialite I would be. Society seems to want ones whose lives are full of drama. Well, my life is certainly dramatic, almost certainly enough to star in my own reality show. That is not what I want to be known for, however. I want to be known as someone who cares about people, who thinks intelligently, who presents herself well, and who represents my generation and nation properly. I don’t want to be famous; I want to be well-rounded and respected. I want to be inspired again. I don’t want the drama, and the hardships, and the disappointments to weigh me down. I would like to be happy and heard. Hopefully some day soon both of these will happen.

An Identity in Crisis

I hear many people say that they are waiting to start their lives or are trying to find themselves. I admit that at one point I was one of those people, but then I realized how ludicrous those statements are. Who you are is whoever you have chosen to be, and yes everyone has already chosen. While they may not like that person, it was every single choice that they ever made that led to the creation of them. Life doesn’t begin once your goals are accomplished and you are comfortable with where you are. Life began a long time ago when the concepts of right and wrong were discovered.

I may not be thrilled with where I am right now, but I recognize that it is because of my own faults that I am here. I also recognize that I will not be stuck here forever as long as I take the active steps to move forward. What I don’t know is the “who I am” aspect.

            How does one even answer that question? Is it a matter of beliefs or personality types or talents or interests? I suppose those aren’t bad places to start.

            One of my best friends and I are deeply interested in astrology and I am proud to say that I am a Scorpio and the characteristics of that sign fit me to a tee. I am passionate, perceptive, resourceful, possessive, and determined. I am talented artistically, but by no means the next Michelangelo. I simply enjoy sketching and sculpting. I also enjoy journaling and reading. I am obsessed with one book series in particular: Harry Potter. I can pretty much compare any aspect of my life with something in Harry Potter. I am religious and am actively practicing that religion. I also associate with a political party and try to stay up-to-date on current issues. I take pleasure in learning new things and sharing ideas with others.

            So what do these things say about me? I have no idea. I can’t find a label that really fits me completely, sorority girl, country girl, nerd, attention hog, or philanthropist. Where do I stand? I suppose I might really be in the in between stage of my life right now. I can honestly say I have “found myself”. I know what I believe, where I stand, and what I enjoy. I just don’t know exactly who that makes me.